The Spy Who Mowed Me
The Denver Post reported today that the CIA may relocate its entire domestic operation to the Denver Federal Center. The Fed Center is the largest gathering of federal employees and agencies outside of Washington D.C. It's also about a five minute walk from our front door.
Lots of our neighbors are geologists and national parks types who work at the Fed Center and they give the 'hood a pretty unique feel.
Before we moved to Colorado we lived for many years among gangsters and drug addicts in LA. So I guess you could call us a reasonably tolerant and understanding family.
But the CIA next door? Jeez, there goes the neighborhood.
I'm aware of the potential benefits in spite of my misgivings.
It's kind of cool to think about 008 cutting his grass down the street. I assume he'll do the job with a standard issue CIA sit-down lawnmower that can accelerate to 80 mph and fire missiles at any suspicious ice cream truck that might be harboring a small but especially dirty nuclear device. I'd feel a lot safer having that kind of stand up guy in the vicinity.
On the other hand, I'm not excited about the prospect of lots of local fathers named Al Smith who all run import/export businesses.
And I'd really be bummed if one of my neighbors accidentally slipped and told me some secret of national importance over the back fence and then had to pop a cyanide capsule to make amends. That would be awkward and would create some pretty depressing conversations among the local parents at our kids' soccer games
But as I said, we're a pretty tolerant and accepting family.
So I'd like to welcome you to the neighborhood, you stealthy devils.
Lots of our neighbors are geologists and national parks types who work at the Fed Center and they give the 'hood a pretty unique feel.
Before we moved to Colorado we lived for many years among gangsters and drug addicts in LA. So I guess you could call us a reasonably tolerant and understanding family.
But the CIA next door? Jeez, there goes the neighborhood.
I'm aware of the potential benefits in spite of my misgivings.
It's kind of cool to think about 008 cutting his grass down the street. I assume he'll do the job with a standard issue CIA sit-down lawnmower that can accelerate to 80 mph and fire missiles at any suspicious ice cream truck that might be harboring a small but especially dirty nuclear device. I'd feel a lot safer having that kind of stand up guy in the vicinity.
On the other hand, I'm not excited about the prospect of lots of local fathers named Al Smith who all run import/export businesses.
And I'd really be bummed if one of my neighbors accidentally slipped and told me some secret of national importance over the back fence and then had to pop a cyanide capsule to make amends. That would be awkward and would create some pretty depressing conversations among the local parents at our kids' soccer games
But as I said, we're a pretty tolerant and accepting family.
So I'd like to welcome you to the neighborhood, you stealthy devils.
posted by Wordcat at 8:31 PM
1 Comments:
I'll bet there's going to be a lot of cool stuff at your neighborhood garage sales.
But I don't envy you as a father. Imagine the kinds of science fair projects and Pinewood Derby cars the Smith kids are going to make! And should Andrew's entries look promising, he might get "erased."
My prayers are with you and your family.
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