Sunday, November 06, 2005

One More Reason to Go Wireless

At the risk of bad taste....

I guess a pastor got electrocuted down in Texas last week. He was standing in waste deep water in a baptismal and grabbed a corded mike and, well, he's home with the Lord now.

I'm not sure what deeper lessons can be learned from such a tragedy except that common sense can sometimes prolong your life.

The church he served is in Waco, which is the home of some pretty odd religious cults and offbeat churches.

Who knows, maybe some wierd group will be inspired by this whole unfortunate event and create an updated version of Christian snake handling cults. Rather than wrapping venemous snakes around their necks in order to show God's protection against grave danger, these folks may stick their tongues into power outlets during the service to demonstrate their faithfulness.

I'm joking of course...I think :^)

Here are a few ideas to prevent unsafe situations in churches.

• Never use napalm in the Pentecost “Tongues of Fire” Extravaganza

• Avoid base jumping “trust exercises” at the high school weekend retreats

• For liturgical churches, don’t let the kids hold the extra long candles during the midnight Easter services. I was raised in the Greek Orthodox church, and one Easter back in the mid-60’s I actually fell asleep during the service and let my candle touch the heavily hair-sprayed bouffant “do” of the middle aged woman in front of me. Her hair caught fire. My mom and the woman's husband put out the flames with their coats. Bad for the bouffant. Bad for me.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I read this article also and couldn't believe that an adult in the age of bathroom electronics wouldn't know better than to take a live mike into the water. It was very tragic and yet your take on it is very humorous. I'm sure you were drugged into sleep at the Orthodox service by the incense that is strong enough to take down a city. They shouldn't mix fire with that stuff and then add hours of chanting to really put you to out.

5:02 PM  
Blogger Wordcat said...

Anon--you've obviously been to a few orthodox services. We used to (affectionately) call those services "bells and smells."

7:42 PM  
Blogger anhomily said...

Actually, it doesn't really surprise me that this happened, because electric appliances and devices have become so ubiquitous and fool-proofed that you would think they could make mikes that wouldn't electrocute you when you are standing in water. Actually am curious about what specifically did him in...most mikes are plastic or rubber on the part that you grip, so he must have been like swallowing the mike or something, right? (more evidence for the snake-handling theory).

7:11 AM  

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