Monday, January 15, 2007

Divine Mission Accomplished

Colorado Springs (CNN)

In a move that may increase pressure on the Bush administration to reconsider the newly announced 'surge strategy' in Iraq, certain key leaders of the Religious Right are calling on President Bush to ‘acknowledge the tremendous success of the invasion and occupation of Iraq, declare victory, and begin bringing our troops home.’

James Dobson, founder and president of Focus on the Family, outlined the basic arguments of the “Divine Mission Accomplished Study Group” in a speech yesterday at Reagan and Jesus Memorial University in Colorado Springs. Conservative Christian leaders formed the study group in order to make a ‘Christian response’ to the James Baker led Iraq Study Group.

“No matter what the left wing and secular nay sayers may claim, the war in Iraq has been a great success. Let’s consider the facts,” said Dobson.

“What was once an officially secular government is now dominated by religious groups. You can bet your bible nobody's trying to keep religious symbols out of the public square in Bahgdad."

"And is there a country in the world where citizens more freely and frequently exercise their God given right to bear arms than Iraq? They don't even have the NRA! It's a miracle."

“The central government is weak and local initiative and control prevails throughout the country. Homosexuality isn’t tolerated and you don’t see any swishy attempts to legalize gay civil unions. Men are men and women are women in Fallujah, that's for sure!” asserted Dobson.

“There is no welfare state. No labor unions and no George Cloonified film industry. No stem cell research and no 'Daily Show.' No secular humanists corrupting the minds of naïve, helpless children. No family planning clinics and no eggheads babbling about global warming. They don’t even know who Al Gore is!”

“From the point of view of ‘values voters,’ Iraq is a model. Those of us who served on the ‘Divine Mission Accomplished Study Group’ can see no reason why more American money or lives should be spent to improve a country that so successfully addresses the most important moral and spiritual issues of the day. Let’s bring the troops home as soon as we can, Mr. President. We respectfully call on you to give our views the serious attention they so richly deserve,” said Dobson.

“With prayer and determination, America may one day live up to the example of Iraq. May the good Lord make it so,” concluded Dobson.


Blogger Sara said...

you should write for Slate

8:26 AM  
Blogger Wordcat said...

To quote Groucho Marx, "I would never join any club that would have me as a member."

3:49 PM  

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