Mohawk Logic

Original Cool

Being a dad these days is all about improv and negotiation.

Janet asked me to come talk to my 13 year old son Andrew last week.
When your wife asks you in a concerned voice to talk to one of your children you know something’s up.

They were sitting in the living room when I got there and looked like they were hoping for the wisdom of Solomon or at least a tie breaking vote. Oh well :^)

I was relieved to hear that a haircut was the “life and death” issue at hand.

Andrew wanted a Mohawk. Full blown spiked and punk.

No real surprise there. He started pushing boundaries at 2. It’s one of the things I love most about him.

Janet is usually the voice of reason and tradition in the mix. When our kids color outside the lines they normally look to me first for support.

But not this time. Janet intro’d things and said she was willing to consider the rooster cut for Andrew.

I guess sometimes the irresistible sea finally wears down the immovable coast :^)

Had to recover quickly and figure out how to handle things. What to do?

I started asking questions as any good post modern dad would.

Turns out Andrew wanted more of the cool. He said he really liked a socially conscious band that does the old skool punk. He was articulate and reasonable for a 13 year old.

All I could think of was De Niro in Taxi Driver.


Time to go to the dad bag.

Started positive. Affirmed the importance of being unique and said I understood why that was important to him.

Went next with a short speech on the irrelevance of externals and the danger of focusing on them. And the critical importance of being unique on the inside.

He was only half buying at that point. Pretty clear from the body language.

He then wondered why he couldn’t have a Mohawk "if externals aren't important."

Damn.

Finally went with how other people would respond. Told him a few friends would think his new cut was cool but that most people wouldn't. Admitted the weakness of that take and asked him to consider his willingness to take the opinion polls into account. Basic hard nosed pragmatism, you know.

Turned out to be less persuasive than I had hoped. He wanted to know how high and how narrow his Mohawk could be.

We were now down to horse trading.

Ok, time to go with raw parental authority in the guise of negotiation and introduce a 'poison clause' that's the deal breaker :^)

I told him I was ok with a Mohawk if it was at least 5 inches wide. And no gel spiking. Anything narrower or spiked up was absolutely out of the question.

He reluctantly agreed.

He and Jan then headed off for Super Cuts.

They never got there. Andrew vetoed the geek ‘hawk on the way and came back with a full head of hair. Thank God.

Of course, he’s been asking for a dog for a couple of months now. I don’t like dogs and don’t want one around the house.

I’m beginning to think this whole Mohawk thing might have been a bargaining chip put on the table by a superior negotiator. Give up something you don’t really want to get something you really do :^) I’ll let you know how the dog discussions pan out….