Monday, November 13, 2006

Focus On The Entrails

Missoula, Montana (CNN)

American Conservative Neo-Druid leader Rhames Hobson announced today that “turning away from traditional religious values led to the defeat of the Republican Party in last week’s mid-term election.”

Hobson, president and founder of “Focus on the Entrails,” spoke at a press conference held at the organization’s Montana headquarters. Conservative Neo-Druid and Pagan leaders from around the country gathered there to sacrifice chickens, deconstruct the meaning of last week’s election, and plot the political future of the conservative religious cause.

“We’re the most traditional religious group in the world,” said Hobson. “We worshipped trees, shrubbery and decorative ground cover long before there was a Pharaoh. Creeping liberalism threatens us all.”

Hobson began “Focus on the Entrails” in 1979 in an attempt to "spread the gospel" of magic mushrooms and deciphering animal guts. After a decade of positive public response to his original mission, Hobson eventually steered “Focus” onto a partisan political path aimed at supporting religious conservatism.

Billy Bob Odin, Vice Shaman of the Southern Pagan Convention, agreed with Hobson that a rejection of traditional values led to the Republican humiliation.

“When Republicans stray from a full commitment to Mother Earth, the consistent sacrifice of poultry, and the traditional use of hallucinogenic 'shrooms, can anyone really be surprised with this kind of outcome?"


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