Thursday, November 02, 2006

Cool Political Stuff That Won't Happen

Gag This Man

Geez, would somebody tie up John Kerry and stick him in the attic until after the election? He's the gift that keeps on giving to the folks who deserve to have their clocks cleaned in the upcoming election. The man's gotta genius for snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. At least he was willing to offer a clear public apology for a mistake, something no one among our present leaders has been willing to do for 6 years. Bush just announced he wants Rumsfeld to remain in his job through 2008. Unbelievable. No, check that. It goes beyond unbelievable into the twilight zone.

Always fun to imagine a different political reality during those brief moments of clarity at the coffee break. Here's some cool stuff that won't happen:

• Obama Runs for President in 2008

Definitely nawgahappen. Would be cool to see a black man with no baggage get a shot after a couple of more years in the Senate under his belt. Hey, I said "get a shot," not "get shot." He’s got the role of religion in politics prophetically figured out.

• Hillary Runs With Obama

Definitely nawgahappen. White woman and black man seek to run the show. The extra large fear buttons would get pushed. Win or lose though, good for the country.

• McCain Refuses to Pander to the Religious Right

Nawgahappen. McCain is one of those old school libertarian conservatives I tend to dig. It’s obvious he holds his nose in the vicinity of the Religious Right but he’ll get whacked in the nomination process by the believers if he doesn’t run with somebody the Southern Baptists are willing to take grape juice with during communion.

• McCain and Hillary Run A Civil and Encouraging Campaign

Absolutely nawgahappen.

Even though they clearly like and respect each other a lot.

When was the last time you could say that about the presumptive presidential candidates in an American election? 41 versus Bill in 1992? Not really. Poppy Bush Loves Bubba now but thought he was trailer trash in ’92.

The 'independent' political committees will throw feces into the fan no matter what the candidates do. The political Moore’s Law states that campaigns double in viciousness every 2 years. No reason to doubt those physics.

• McCain or Hillary Win and Appoint ‘The Enemy” to Their Cabinet

Probably nawgahappen but you never know :^)

McCain could appoint Al Gore to the post of Secretary of Global Warming and drive the conservative true believers ape-shit. I’d pay cash money to see that.

Or Hillary could defeat McCain and then appoint him Secretary of Defense. Cool.

It’s not as far fetched as you think. That kind of thing used to be fairly common until pretty recently. Lincoln filled his cabinet with his political enemies because he thought they were the best men available and believed the country needed the very best during the Civil War. Almost impossible to imagine given our current leaders, but there's always hope.


Anonymous jon said...

Kerry's apology in the morning was a joke. I've heard he made a more legitamate apology later though, but I didn't see what he said.

note - Lincoln's strategy was cool, but it may have partially wrecked the history of the country. Not only was he appointing enemies to his cabinet, but he appointed someone who had very different ideas than him to the Vice Presidency, and that was disasterous during Reconstruction.

That being said, I still like most of your hopes a lot. Except that I would prefer that Barack become governor, vice-president, or at least get a second senate term before leaping up to the presidency.

8:56 AM  
Anonymous jon said...

yeah, the apology you linked to was better.

8:58 AM  
Blogger 3wishes said...

So maybe the freaks in the political chat rooms that constantly tell people that Bush and Kerry are somehow related arnt so far off? Maybe Kerry really is a wolf in sheeps clothing. Sure acts like one. Im pushing the button, the hatch is opening and bye bye Kerry.

10:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Listen, Kerry actually served in the military. He risked his life and saw death in Vietnam. There's NO WAY he was saying soldiers are stupid. To misconstrue his bad joke can only be done by an act of will. Paula Zahn had conservative wackos Christopher Hitchens and Andrew Sullivan on and even they agreed that Kerry didn't mean to say soldiers are dumb.

1:15 PM  
Anonymous Jon said...

just a side, and I'll stop here - the reports on the rally said that there were audible gasps in the audience when he spoke that line, and the media covering the event got together to talk about whether or not they would include it in their reporting. That indicates that quite a few people took it the other way, not just people with an ax to grind.

3:39 PM  
Blogger Wordcat said...

I'd like to see Obama have a lot more experience too. That's why he probably won't run, but on the other hand I'm not sure he'll ever have a better shot than in 2008. Sometimes you gotta ride the mo when you've got it.

11:27 AM  
Blogger Wordcat said...

Not sure I'd call Hitchens and Sullivan wackos, anon, though I understand the larger point you're making. Both guys are brilliant. I love reading Hitchens in the Atlantic Monthly though he's often unfair and sometimes viciously so. I link here at P and P to Sullivan cuz I think he's one of the better conservative thinkers. Don't agree with a lot of what he says but he's generally pretty fair. I enjoy him because he's trying to make sense of the inherent contradictions and fallacies of conservatism and make it all coherent. I'm pretty sure he won't succeed but fun to watch him try. Don't get me wrong, anon, there are plenty of conservative wackos out there but not sure these guys belong in that group.

12:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Honestly, I misspoke in calling them Conservative Wackos. That appellation is wasted on those guys when there are so many others more worthy of it. Hitchens is clearly very smart, but seems to have made a drastic ideological shift during the last decade. He also appears to be either drunk or hungover in most of his public appearances. Admittedly, Sullivan is probably the best of the lot.
My problem, I guess, is that I've become quite "fundamentalist" in my political thinking. Mainsteam Conservatives I once respected, I now can't even look at for their tacit compliance with the current regime. I have trouble forgiving these conservatives that have in any way enabled this administration. Now, many seem to be jumping off the trainwreck, but these guys helped make it happen.....
I would have bet my life savings that McCain would have been the Republican nominee in 2000 and not a bad one. Now, it seems I'm living in some horrible Twilight Zone-esque alternate reality.

12:54 PM  
Blogger 3wishes said...

< Now, it seems I'm living in some horrible Twilight Zone-esque alternate reality.

Now? Theres been a cocaine snorting liar in the White House for a few years now. Its a little too late to worry about it NOW.

11:17 AM  

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