Monday, November 20, 2006

Kinder, Gentler Voodoo

Not Your Father's Witch Doctor

Guess Shrub Dubya is in Indonesia today for a 7 hour visit. Still, officials are so worried about the intense anti-Americanism there that 20,000 police and security agents will be on the streets ‘to protect the president,’ according to an AP report.

I mean, if you’ve traveled a lot internationally you know 7 hours is hardly enough time to get out of the airport. Guess they’ll assign about 15,000 of those agents to the baggage claim area.

Anyway, here’s the best part of the story. An Indonesian shaman apparently put the whammy on Bush in a black magic ritual performed last week. The whole thing required the blood of a snake, a goat and a crow. Guess they don’t use ‘eye of newt’ in those parts.

The terrible goal of the curse? Local Indonesian Shaman Ki Gendeng Pamungkas explains:

“My curse will make him bloat like broccoli. Bush will feel unease during his visit.”

Excuse me, but what kind of lame-ass curse is that?

Since when do witch doctors wield their big, bad voodoo daddy deal to give you gas?

Whatever happened to the good old days of real curses?

You know. Financial ruin for you and your family. Shrinking your head from a men’s size 7 down to an extra small. Turning you into a warthog. The good stuff. The full bodied stuff.

It's enough to make you lose confidence in this younger generation....


Blogger Samer Farhat said...

Have you ever had the runs in a less-than-first-world country and looked for a bathroom, let alone a clean bathroom? If his curse produces the runs, then I think it is a mighty powerful one given the neighborhood.

5:33 PM  
Blogger Wordcat said...

Very good point :^)

5:37 PM  

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